all you must hold onto is you

okay, i know i've been seriously neglecting youguys. it's partially because i was putting off the "four eyed monsters" post because i wasn't inspired, and partially because i haven't been feeling well. but for now, i'm just going to put off the four eyed monsters thing until i feel up to writing about it (i think i may need to watch it again) and just get back to writing regularly. and so here we are.

i took a silly online quiz recently entitled "why don't i have a boyfriend?" a friend of mine took it also. her answer was that she was too shy; mine, that i'm too forward. HA. okay then. i'm trying to learn from that but i'm not really sure what to take away from it. i prefer being upfront about things; open and honest. but that tends to scare guys away. i guess i'm too intense, but the thing is, i honestly feel like they think i expect more immediately than i really do. just because i'm telling you that i like you doesn't mean that i expect the world. i'm just being...well, honest. you don't have to be on my level, and you don't have to be afraid. just accept it for what it is and unless i repulse you, let's just see what happens. that's the way i see it. i guess i just need to figure out a way to relay that message a little better.

really the only thing that you can do is put yourself out there, say what you mean, and see how things go. see how the other person responds. there's no sense in not trying at all because you'll always wonder, "what if?" also, you're GOING to be rejected sometimes. might as well get used to it and not let every little thing break you down. and i learned recently that although learning from your past and your mistakes is very important, it's equally, if not more important, not to drag all of your baggage into each relationship or potential relationship. don't punish that person for things others have done - it's not fair. that may seem obvious but it's much easier said than done. if you're not able to maintain a certain level of naivete, i think you're doomed. jaded is no way to be when it comes to relationships of any kind because the other person is only going to try so hard until they just get tired of your constant eye rolling and bitching. it's not like the movies - most people are not going to chase you until you realize how amazing they are and fall into their arms and you both live happily ever after. and even if they do chase you well beyond the point that they should and you DO fall? chances are they're going to end up dropping you in the end because they were only about the chase. so you might as well just be yourself from the beginning and give things a chance. i know that was a little contradictory but that's life, i guess.

the moral of the story is this: live and learn, but don't limit yourself. don't count people out, and don't stop trying. know that you're worth it, and if you get knocked down, dust yourself off and try again, you can dust it off and try again...try again. /aaliyah

thanks for continuing to read, youguys, and for all of the comments and messages and myspace adds. i really appreciate it. thank you. i love getting to know you and i hope you'll continue to reach out to me. AND, if you have any suggestions regarding what i should write about, don't hesitate to let me know! anything you'd like to hear my take on, or whatever, tell me and i'll add it to the list. there's an actual list.

p.s: i could watch the movie "just friends" on loop all day, every day. ryan reynolds and anna faris are good for the soul.