katie girl

i've been watching too much sex and the city. i'll cop to that right now; let's just get it out of the way. i'm still watching reruns, all out of order, on tbs and hbo, some i've already seen but most i haven't. i saw an episode the other night in which carrie finds out that big (carrie's ex-boyfriend who really broke her heart, for non-satc fans) is engaged. she's angry, and then hurt, and eventually finds herself asking the question, "why wasn't it me?" she's discussing this with her friends at brunch or lunch or dinner or whatever and someone suggests that it's a "hubble" thing. she emphatically agrees, and then samantha asks, "who is hubble?" they explain that he is robert redford's character in "the way we were," and that barbra streisand's character is katie. it doesn't work out between them because she's too complicated, and ultimately he ends up with a much more simple girl. one of the ladies mentions that the new girl is boring and has straight hair, while katie is complex and interesting and has "wild" curly hair, and carrie holds up strands of her own curly hair and declares her own complexity. she then announces that she's just had an epiphany: there are two types of girls in the world - the simple girl, and the katie girl, and SHE is a katie girl. the ladies talk about the famous last scene in the movie when katie encounters hubble and brushes the hair off of his forehead as she tells him, "your girl is lovely, hubble." at the end of the episode, carrie runs into big on the street outside of his engagement party that she couldn't bring herself to attend. she is calm now, having had her "katie girl" revelation, and reluctantly asks him, "i just have to know, why wasn't it me?" he hesitates and she begs him to answer. he sighs deeply and responds, "it just...got...SO hard." carrie takes this in, and reaches up to brush the hair off of his forehead. he looks at her strangely as she says, "your girl is lovely, hubble," to which he replies, "i don't get it." "and you never do," she tells him, as she walks away, having found some peace. the very end is a shot of her long hair flowing in the wind with a carrie voice-over about how some people just need to find someone as free and as wild as they are.

i'm sure this idea and even this particular episode of satc has been written about and blogged about and talked to DEATH, but i have never actually seen "the way we were" and i'm obviously way late with the satc stuff. but that episode really struck a chord with me. there's nothing wrong with me; i'm just a katie girl. and pretending that i'm not only hurts me. so i choose to embrace it. that pretty much says it all, but i really wanted to share it because it's been on my mind.

happy holidays to everyone, and i'll write again soon. hey, let me know what you're doing/what you did for christmas, and what you got! it's the most wonderful time of the year.