getting to know me more

there's always the "about the author" section in novels. they mention a few things that the author has done, like a mini resume, and then end with something cutesy and semi-relevant to the story, like, "she lives happily in london with her husband, two dogs, and endless supply of stiletto heels." (i read a lot of chick lit.) i started to wonder what mine would say. maybe: "she resides in ohio with her mother and great aunt, where she watches a lot of tv and avoids real life for fear of failure." nice. i'm generally not very good at summing things up but...that pretty much does it. i like to kid myself a lot i guess but when i look at the big picture, dreams and plans aside, that is frighteningly accurate. and now i'm just depressed.

real life. real life can be lonely. i have one best friend in new york, one in california, and one in england. i said goodbye to new york bff two weeks ago, england two days ago, and california six months ago. fortunately i do see her again next month. and everyone should be where they want to be and where they need to be, pursuing the things they love and having the lives they want. and don't get me wrong - i do love to travel. but in a way, it just seems like so much wasted time. so much time without them. so much time not sharing experiences. so much time apart when life is so, so short.

but i know that mostly i think about these things and i feel this way because i'm not busy. i'm not satisfied. i'm not really happy, even though i am excited about the future. too much time to think is not always a good thing. and old friends are precious and irreplaceable. but new friends are fun. new friends are exciting. new friends are necessary. and new friends will become old friends if you let them. and if they don't, at least you had a good laugh and maybe even a shoulder to cry on during that one hard night.

okay so who saw "intervention"?