paint a perfect picture

youguys know this song "beautiful girls" by sean kingston? first of all, is sean kingston 14? because the way he looks confuses me. anyway, this song...my mom loves it (hi mommy!). she mentioned it to me one day recently and i didn't know what she was talking about but then i looked it up and realized i'd heard it on the radio a few times. he says "suicidal" in that song so much. it's all, "you're just too beautiful, girl, that's why it'll never work, you have me suicidal, suicidal..." i don't know what any of the other words are. it might make all the difference, i don't know. but basically what i get from this song is that the chick is way too hot for him so he can never REALLY have her and now he's gonna kill himself. when i think of the song all i can think is him going, "suuuuuiiicidal, suuuuuuiicidal," over and over again. it's depressing. and it romanticizes suicide. and then earlier today i saw his performance of that song on jimmy kimmel live from the other night and it wasn't so good and i don't know where i'm going with this except to say...the song is called "beautiful girls." and i want better than...THAT (sorry, mommy).

so on thursday i was a part of this, but perhaps the most interesting thing that happened as we all huddled inside the tent screaming and freaking out while wind busted through screens and thunder broke the sky and rain and hail pounded down around us was me being pelted in the shoulder by half a lemon. speaking of throwing things, why do people feel the need to throw things at shows? especially, like, their own shoe, for instance? what are you doing? no, seriously, if you are one of those people, what are you doing? you can comment on these posts, you know. so comment and tell me what you're doing. take me through your entire thought process in a situation such as this.

and now, speaking of comments, thank you to everyone who has been leaving me feedback and who's been visiting this site. i appreciate it more than you know. i've been a little slow on getting started, i know, but i've been doing a lot lately and i have a good friend from merry old england in town (hi rachel!) so i have been preoccupied. but oh, the things to come. i tell you what.

speaking of SHOWS, i saw THE ms. erykah badu in detroit last night. her final song was one of my favorite songs; one i'd never seen her do live before and never thought she would (even though she is quite unpredictable). it's called "green eyes." it sounds like three or four different songs all in one, and it goes through just about every emotion you go through after a break-up, from denial to anger to sadness and ultimately acceptance. you should probably hear it. or buy it from itunes if you have morals. or money. or both. what was i saying?

cohesive, this is not. that's difficult for me. i'm learning here. i'm learning.

fear breeds hatred breeds violence. listen. accept. love.