Wednesday, September 5, 2007

let it marinate

sometimes i go to craigslist and i look through the personals, mostly for entertainment. sometimes i message people, for different reasons, but it's mostly just something i do for fun. (and i know i'm not the only one who has a small wish in the back of her head that i am, in fact, the beautiful brunette from the grocery store who inspired that particular missed connections ad.) sooo i was there just now, and i came across this one:

ok so here it is...
I am single and I am very busy
... and I am lonely
don't have time for the full on relationship,
I need someone to talk to and snuggle,
spend some free time with, laugh and have fun...
no pressure or dramma,
sounds good right?,
if you are sexy, ambitious, fun loving, easy going,
creative, intelligent, open minded, kind of odd,
not ghetto, hillbilly or psycho,
please email me.


okay. my first thought upon reading this was, "no time for a 'full on' relationship? so he just wants someone he can use?" but i kept an open mind and i reminded myself that, despite what i personally want for myself, this might be the perfect situation for a certain girl and there's nothing wrong with just wanting someone to cuddle with and talk to, right? no major commitment. okay. i can get down with that. well, not me personally, but...her...or you, maybe! or...someone. then i finished reading the ad and it occurred to me that that is quite a lot of criteria considering he doesn't want a...well, full on relationship. more power to him, i suppose, but you can't always have your cake and eat it too. speaking of which, how stupid is that expression? what the hell are you supposed to do with cake if you don't eat it? i say we change that expression. suggestions welcome.

anyway, the feminist side of me (which, let's admit, is...all of me) gets pretty offended reading something like that. i just want to jump up and defensively shout, "so you assume all women are dramatic? so you just want some vacant, emotionless whore who will come running every time you call, to whom you have no responsibility?" but again, i have to put things into perspective. this kind of thing is just difficult for me to understand.

but really, i don't think it's the nature of the type of relationship he seeks that really hit a nerve with me. i think it's the fact that he said he's "too busy" for a complete (for lack of a better word) relationship. it's one thing to want to keep things light and fun because you just want some action or companionship and you're not in the right mindset to deal with the heavier stuff, but i really think it's another to simply be too busy. i don't know. i mean, when does that end? and if you're really too busy to make time for that sort of thing in your life, maybe you should wait until you're...not. i guess what i'm basically saying is that it sounds like a cop out to me. your lame reasoning for not giving the other person all of the things that they need and deserve.

and now i return to my viewing of "kissing jessica stein" on the oxygen network.

2 comments:

A said...

I think the reason the guy (or girl, don't want to be prejudiced) specifically mentioned "no drama" is because people (I won't say women because I've known men who are like this too) have a tendency to go into a situation like that, end up really liking that person, and expecting them to change because "what they have is special." Then they get upset when the other person points out that their needs and expectations haven't changed. Anyway, don't mind me. Sometimes I think we married people probably should hold our tongues about things like this.

misskalihead said...

tempting but toad-like
fr. feminist perspective