Wednesday, August 22, 2007

being drunk IS an excuse

...i know most people don't agree with that. or at least that seems to be the case. but i can tell you from experience that i've certainly done some things while intoxicated that i would never do sober. not that i've done anything too crazy or particularly dangerous, because i'm just not that sort of person (sorry), but there is one incident at least that i can think of off the top of my head that NEVER would have happened had alcohol not been involved. i absolutely assure you. i don't even remember half of it or how it started, and i regret it to this day. and this is why everyone gets one chance with me.

now, too far is too far, so i'm not saying that i would necessarily take anyone back after certain incidents just because they'd been drunk. i'm just saying that i understand, and it's not a black and white issue to me. so when someone fucks up and gives the "excuse" that they were drunk and i hear the other party involved retort, "being drunk is no excuse!"...i just can't say that i agree. i put excuse in quotes because there's a difference between excuses and reasons. and i believe that that's a reason. it may be a lame one, it may suck really, really hard, but i truly believe that it is, in many cases, a legitimate reason. when i was younger, everything to me was black and white. now i look around and all i see is gray.

what's my point...well, i guess it's that you should listen to people. every situation is different. you may need to break up with someone because they cheated on you and that's not something you'll ever be able to get over, and you should, because everyone should follow their own morals. but judging someone is an entirely different thing. as joan cusack said to the older boy who tried to statutory rape her niece in "raising helen": "you're not a bad person. this is just very, very bad behavior."

4 comments:

Alix! said...

Yeah I can tell you right now that I wouldn't be puking on tourbuses sober ;)

arlan said...

im drunk right now!

but not.

Anonymous said...

You know I agree with you on this topic. And I definitely relate when you say that you used to see in black and white but now it's all grey. Things were very morally easy when i was young, right and wrong were easy to see and punish. But then we get older and EVERYTHING is more complicated.

jess said...

it depends on the person. some people can be drunk and still be completely conscious and aware of the decisions.

once when i was at a party with my boyfriend, he was so trashed, and horny, and everyone tried to shove us in the bathroom to have sex, and he said to me "now, i know that i'm really drunk. and i know i want to. but if you don't, you don't have to. i respect that. see, i'm not forcing anything. i can still think right." or something to that affect. so some people, like him and i, we both know what's going on and know not to do anything we wouldn't do sober.

however, i do agree that for some people, it can be an excuse. and if you're (you in general) one of those people.. make sure you have people you really trust around that can make sure you don't do anything you normally wouldn't.