somebody's watching me

i totally probably shouldn't be doing this but youguys...i have to. i belong to a community on a certain website which will not be named and the subject is women's health. this was posted there recently:

[EDIT: just to clarify, i DID NOT write the following]

I've been trying to get the guts to have sex with my boyfriend. When I finally decided I am compeltely ready things went bad.

I'm a virgin, and I do not touch myself. He is the first boy to ever touch me and hes only been touching me for oh say 4 months? But, we've been dateing 5.

Today I planned to have sex untill I noticed I have to stretch my god damn vagina out. So, he decieded he'd put one finger in a at a time. But, first he'd lick my vagina so it'd be super dooper wet [can't complain about that!] anyways, so the first few times he just licked away and then stuck a finger up there. Then we deiced to stick TWO fingers up there, this was not working because it hurt to bad and didn't let him get far at all. Then we left and went some place, when we got back we tried again, this time he got two fingers in up untill his knuckle, you know not the knuckle on the hand the one in the finger. [he says his penis equals about 2.5 fingers, I asked] ANYWAYS, after we couldn't get them in ALL THE WAY, he decided we should try putting one finger in and moving it around, this was alright the second time but didn't go so well the first time.

anyways, i'm just dyeing to have sex with him.
he was turning me on REALLY bad today.

does any one have any advice as to what 'we' should do to stretch my vagina out? [bceause, i suppose this is necessary if i want to have sex with him, yes?]


and please don't tell me i have to touch myself, because I won't.
and, i'm not sticking any thing up there that isn't his finger or penis ,thats weird.

i am not going to comment on this. it just is what it is. i can't handle it and i've run out of friends that i can read it to. so. enjoy.

moving on...um...happy halloween! i've done nothing to celebrate this year so far so tomorrow night (technically tonight), the plan is for me and the bf to watch a classic scary movie. i haven't seen most of them so choosing one shouldn't be hard. i also want to wear a costume and eat candy while doing that. so i may have to pick up a mask or something on my way over to his house. any suggestions?

thanks for the christmas related comments! they made me especially happy. because i love christmas. you know, like i said. i really do. i'm like an elf or like...clark griswold. you really wanna spend christmastime with me. trust me. if you ever get a chance, do it. i will SO be merry and jolly with you. and i have santa hats, like, to SPARE.

ANYWAY. so i briefly mentioned the hbo series "tell me you love me" in an earlier post. i can't decide how i feel about the actual show but i started watching and then i became invested in the characters, even the ones i don't like (which is...all of them now), just because i wanted to find out what happened. it's mainly about three couples and their relationship problems. two of the couples are married, and it's just gotten really fucking depressing. i'm not sure what the point of the show even is anymore because it's almost like they're trying to tell you that once you get married, everything goes to shit. actually, no. really what the message seems to be is that once you get married and you either have kids or start trying to have kids or get pregnant, everything goes to shit. the only couple on the show who's happy is the elderly couple, and they don't have any kids. the woman in that marriage is the sex/relationship therapist to the others. if youguys have ever seen this show, i'm really interested in hearing your thoughts about it.

i'm afraid that's all i've got for you right now. i have to get up in a matter of hours and i'm not feeling particularly analytical at the moment. but as always, and as i just mentioned, your comments are welcome. i'd love to hear anything and everything youguys would like to share about relationships, your...feelings, that tv show...holidays! anything. thank you so much for reading, again. it means the world to me.

p.s: read jessica's blog. always!