what's simple is true

one of my best friends is getting married next year, and today...er, yesterday (oh, insomnia), i went with her to browse some wedding bands. towards the end of our visit to the jewelry store, i had the sales people size my ring finger because when i was in high school and i was sized for my class ring, they said i was a size 5, but that ring was always way too big for me. i have had my suspicions for eight years now and it turns out i was right - i am not a 5! i am barely a 4, even. which apparently means that if i ever wanted a ring for that finger that would actually fit me, i would need to have it special ordered. moral of the story: i have freakishly small fingers. not that i want large fingers, but it just makes me feel, like...lame. like i have tiny child fingers. hmm. oh well. this was an interesting paragraph.

i've been trying to avoid talking about it, but i've been thinking a lot about love lately. i know i posted about it recently but it's still on my mind quite a bit. it's just so interesting to me because it means something different to everyone, but ultimately it really is all that there is to anything. i think that there should be as much love going around as possible. i don't think people should be so afraid to say "i love you" because life is too short and you never know what's going to happen tomorrow. it's three words that are so not a big deal but they can be just because of this huge issue if, say, it wasn't something you were used to hearing growing up, or you've been burned badly in the past. it just takes on this whole force of its own, like, it's not that hard to love, but to let your guard down like that can be so difficult. just speaking the words. why are we so afraid of being loved? it's a good thing. why are we so afraid to say it? to anyone, really. i'm not even just talking romantically here. my brain has been all over this subject lately, for many reasons. my life is very different now than it was even a few years ago, and it causes me to re-evaluate matters pretty regularly. but the thing is, something as sweet and as necessary and as HUMAN as love shouldn't be analyzed. it shouldn't be. i say it a good 10 times a day, whether it's to my mother or my pets or my friends, and i mean it so deeply every time the words come out of my mouth yet it somehow is not that big of a deal because without love, what are we? what are we doing? you know? i feel love, i express love, i am love. it's so easy yet so scary, because it hurts when it's taken away, whether it's someone taking back their words or leaving your life forever. but in the end, you should be free to say how you feel and everyone has the right to know that they are loved.

i feel like bursting into song! :)

aaaaaaaanyway. where the hell do i go from there? heavy, heavy, heavy.

"intervention" starts a new season on monday. i love that. "project runway" is back soon. loving it. and although i wish it weren't necessary, i also love sleep. so i bid you adieu; be well, love hard, y vuelve a mi. ciao, my darlings.